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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26637124">A Fateful Encounter</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sendosenpai/pseuds/sendosenpai'>sendosenpai</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Twilight Crack [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Bella has other plans, Crack, F/M, Humor, Jasper wants to kill Bella, Sexual Humor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:21:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,172</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26637124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sendosenpai/pseuds/sendosenpai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Edward saves Bella from Tyler’s van, he exposes his vampire abilities, endangering the whole Cullen family. Jasper decides to set things right…</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Jasper Hale/Bella Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Twilight Crack [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937887</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Fateful Encounter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bella could see the silhouette of a man outside her window.</p><p>“Edward?” she called uncertainly, opening the window to a gust of cold midnight air that blew her dark hair around her face. It couldn’t be Edward already could it? He normally waited for her to be asleep before he visited her in the night. He didn’t know that she knew, of course, and she didn’t think he’d want to make himself so obvious. She had often peeked at him sitting in her rocking chair as she pretended to sleep, turned on and charmed by the sexy boi’s sexy stalker tendencies.</p><p>“No,” it was a different voice that replied. Nonetheless, a voice she still recognised. She smiled to herself, this was the voice she’d truly wanted to hear.</p><p>“Jasper Hale,” she breathed, her hand automatically reaching up to fix her hair, as her heart beat erratically in the man’s presence.</p><p>“Isabella Swan,” Jasper acknowledged coolly with a nod, his eyes were dark that night rather than their usual golden. He jumped from the tree and within seconds was perched on her windowsill.</p><p>Bella jumped back, eyes wide with confusion and wonder.</p><p>“How did you-” she began, but Jasper held up a hand.</p><p>“Do not concern yourself with that,” Jasper said, his tone as stone-y as his rock-hard abs, “I’ll make this as quick as possible for your sake.”</p><p>“Mmmm I’m okay with that,” Bella licked her lips in what she hoped was a seductive manner (twas not). Wordlessly, she started unbuttoning her pyjama top, keeping eye contact, with a smirk on her lips.</p><p>“Wait - what are you doing? No, no, STOP!” Jasper snapped, stunned.</p><p>“Why?” Bella flipped her hair a few times ‘seductively’, “Do YOU want to do it?” she ran a hand down her thighs ‘enticingly’.</p><p>“I REALLY don’t,” replied Jasper, the pitch of his voice rising higher from the shock and disgust. He cleared his throat, closed his eyes, took a moment to breathe, and continued, “No, I’m here for a VERY different reason. This gives me no pleasure, but also no sorrow. It’s simply what has to be done. In the interests of my family, for Alice’s sake, I must protect our secret. And the only way to do that is with your death by my own hand. You may be wondering why Edward isn’t here to protect you. Well, he’s… otherwise occupied. He won’t be coming to help you tonight.”</p><p>-</p><p>Elsewhere, Edward looked down at his phone and frowned.</p><p>The text from Jasper had been very clear, ‘Hey bro u free 2nite at 11ish? Need 2 talk, c u in meadow, w8 for me pls luv J xxx’</p><p>Here he was, waiting in the meadow, exactly like Jasper had asked, and he got stood up?</p><p>He was offended, frustrated, hurt, angry, and disappointed, to say the least. A guy could call at least! Common etiquette really wasn’t so common after all was it? As he grumbled to himself in his thoughts, he got another text:</p><p>‘Soz running l8, traffic aha, b there soon, J xoxo’ with some groaning emojis.</p><p>‘Nw,’ Edward texted back with a couple monkey emojis, before settling down to wait, wondering what Bella was doing tonight while he was unable to spy on her.</p><p>-</p><p>Jasper slipped his phone back in his pocket and turned back to the girl in front of him, who was watching with her wide orbs.</p><p>“Now, I’ll try to make this painless,” Jasper promised, moving forward.</p><p>“I’ll take the pain,” whispered Bella, “If it comes with the pleasure.”</p><p>“… Huh?”</p><p>“You’re such a <em>bad</em> boy, aren’t you? Make me moan as loud as you can, bad boy.”</p><p>Jasper immediately stopped in his tracks, his mind trying to process her strange words. With his ability, he could feel every ounce of her horniness radiating out of her. It made him very uncomfortable, to say the least.</p><p>“No, it’s not like THAT. I’m about to <strong>kill you</strong>,” he said the last two words loudly and clearly, certain she would now get the message. She might scream, she might beg, she might cry. But at least he wouldn’t have to deal with her teenage hormones.</p><p>“That’s right, Daddy, teach me a lesson. Kill me with that cock,” Bella winked at him numerous times in a row. It looked like she was having an aneurism.</p><p>“Daddy?” repeated Jasper incredulously, feeling uneasy. He wasn’t sure what she meant by that but the way she was looking admiringly at his phallic region was a good indication of where her mind was. Much to his chagrin, she wolf-whistled.</p><p>Jasper realized he needed to stop talking and get this over with as soon as possible. For the sake of his own sanity.</p><p>In a fraction of a second, his long, pale fingers were curled around her throat. Her eyelids fluttered closed, her gasp barely audible, her heart thrumming. Jasper was just about to apply more pressure when –</p><p>“Harder,” she moaned, “Harder! Ahhhh.”</p><p>Jasper almost immediately dropped her, clenching the hand that had touched the strange girl.</p><p>“What- what are you doing?” he cried.</p><p>She still had her eyes closed in bliss, her breathing still staggered.</p><p>“Again,” she begged, gleefully gasping for oxygen, “AGAIN!”</p><p>Well, Jasper wouldn’t do it now that she wanted him to. He refused to. He wasn’t a kink-shamer but he also wasn’t here to humour anyone’s desire for breathplay.</p><p>“Silence, child,” said Jasper, trying to quell his rage. He took some deep breaths then refocused. New strategy time.</p><p>With his vampire strength, one blow would knock her out EASY. Then he could kill her without having to listen to her.</p><p>He assessed her body, pinpointing where he should punch her for her to fall unconscious.</p><p>She nibbled her lip as he looked at her, then grinned broadly.</p><p>“Like what you see?” she said gruffly, “Cause I sure like what <em>I</em> see.”</p><p>Closing his eyes so he could avoid looking at her goofy double thumbs up and appreciative (but creepy) smile, Jasper raised his fist and moved forward.</p><p>“You’re going to beat the shit out of me, aren’t you?” Bella asked quietly.</p><p>“Yes,” was his simple, honest reply.</p><p>“Good. Because I,” her voice got louder, “Don’t NEED,” and now she was screaming, “SHIT INSIDE ME.”</p><p>“Ssshhhh,” hissed Jasper, worried she would wake her dad, whom he’d then have to murder as well. Two murders instead of one wasn’t, like, a big deal but was a bit of a long thing yanno?</p><p>He also felt a wave of second-hand embarrassment by the Tumblr-esque line she’d quoted. He could just imagine it being from one of her cringy ‘deep’ teen fiction novels.</p><p>Glancing at her again, he realised she was still checking him out lewdly.</p><p>Groaning, he raised his fist again, but something in her face – either the excitement or the smugness- made him lower it again. He realised he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction.</p><p>He was not done yet though. A human’s heart was the ideal place to strike. One hand of his was more effective than any knife.</p><p>Seeing his intentions, Bella’s mouth fell open. Clearly, Jasper thought grimly, she was finally about to understand.</p><p>As he closed in on Bella, about to strike, she unbuttoned the rest of her top, exposing her titties to him.</p><p>“Come on, you dirty, dirty boy,” she said huskily, winking at him idiotically again, “I’m a dirty, dirty girl, punish me in every way.”</p><p>The hairs on Jasper’s neck stood up. He suddenly realised what he felt was… fear. He was scared of the insignificant human girl before him.</p><p>There was no <em>time</em> for that. He had to get a grip and kill this girl! Clearly, it had come to the last resort. He’d suck her blood. It was easy, efficient, and besides he was kinda hungry. Carrying out murders always made him a bit peckish.</p><p>Remembering Edward, he quickly sent another text.</p><p>‘ugh nt gr8, still n traffic. Lukin 4ward 2 c-ing u tho’ Still disoriented because of Bella, he accidentally sent Edward a string of emojis that were only meant for Alice. The aubergine ones.</p><p>Edward replied swiftly with a line of blushing emojis and winky face emojis.</p><p>Turning back to Bella, Jasper said in a low tone, “I have given you too many chances already. It’s time to end this.” He parted his lips to reveal his sharp, venomous, vampire fangs.</p><p>Bella was too busy staring at his full, pouty lips to comprehend the teeth. Jasper had to hiss to bring her attention to them.</p><p>She suddenly seemed to realise, and recognition dawned on her.</p><p>“Oh,” she murmured, “You’re a vampire.”</p><p>Jasper could only nod once before, baring his fangs, he drew in on her, circling around her, finding the spot on her neck he wanted to bite.</p><p>Bella’s pulse raced, but that still wasn’t fear he was sensing from her– it was that same excitement she’d had all night. And right now, it was reaching new heights.</p><p>“Why?” he demanded, distracted already, “WHY are you excited for me to suck your blood?”</p><p>“I’ve never had a hickey before,” replied Bella smugly, “I can’t wait to show it to everyone at school.”</p><p>“You won’t be going back to school! You’ll be dead! DEAD, I TELL YOU. DEAD!” snapped Jasper. Why was that so hard for this dumbass girl to grasp?</p><p>“Then at least I die with a hickey. A hickey from you. When they bury my body, my friends will all see that hickey and know I didn’t die no virgin,” Bella impatiently tapped the spot on her throat where she wanted the hickey.</p><p>Jasper didn’t want to explain how a hickey didn’t mean you’d lost your virginity. Instead he seethingly said,</p><p>“I’ll just bite you somewhere else then.”</p><p>“Go ahead, I have many body parts,” Bella gloated.</p><p>Well, she wasn’t wrong.</p><p>Jasper moved back slightly and decided her arm was an inoffensive part to attack.</p><p>“And this is my favourite one,” she cried suddenly, pulling her pyjama bottoms down.</p><p>“Noooooo,” cried Jasper, looking away like a gentleman, wishing he could just bleach his eyes. Or drink bleach to erase it from his memories. He then remembered bleach did not have that effect on vampires and felt v sad.</p><p>He picked her up by her armpits and strolled furiously over to the open window, ready to launch her out like she deserved. Her arms suddenly found his neck. Using her limited strength, she pulled herself up, and twisted herself so that she was face to face with the sexy vampire. She hitched her legs up on either side of his waist and wrapped herself around him.</p><p>“Kiss meeeee,” she commanded, lusting for the vampire’s venomous saliva.</p><p>“No.” Jasper refused, pulling her off, tossing her to the side.</p><p>She crashed to the floor, looking strangely satisfied.</p><p>“That’s right,” she breathed, “DOMINATE me.”</p><p>“Ugh you’re so gross,” Jasper snarled, livid at this point, “All I wanted was to kill you, and I’m, like, trying my best. But you’re just being so cringe about it. I mean, ugh, what’s your problem? This could have been an epic murder, but you ruined it. You made it weird, and you ruined it.”</p><p>“That’s cos I’m a naughty girl,” Bella replied, “And you’re what they call ‘bad boy, good lips’.”</p><p>Jasper clutched his hair and screamed. No kill was worth THIS.</p><p>“That’s it! I’m going! You just couldn’t let me have this, could you?” muttering to himself, Jasper stormed out of her room, leaping from the windowsill onto Edward’s favourite stalking tree.</p><p>If Bella was sensible, she would have taken this as a win, and thanked her lucky stars she was still alive.</p><p>However, she was not sensible.</p><p>“Noooo,” she wailed, climbing up on the sill herself, “Take me with yooooouuuuuuuu.”</p><p>“Never!” spat Jasper, “I would rather a werewolf imprint on my new-born baby than take you with me.”</p><p>“SENPAI NOTICE ME!” Bella shrieked and jumped out of the window to join Jasper on Edward’s tree. However, since she was not a vampire, and was instead a pitiful human, she couldn’t quite make the leap.</p><p>Jasper stood on a branch, looking down at the broken body of the girl beneath him, her blood spilling all over the pavement. Well, it would be a shame to waste perfectly good food. Jasper took a napkin out of his pocket and tucked it into his collar, shooting Edward a quick text as well -</p><p>“cum 2 bellas 4 food, J-man xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx”</p><p>Edward was there within seconds. Upon seeing Bella’s corpse, he gasped in agony.</p><p>“She ded,” shrugged Jasper, who was helping himself to her remaining blood.</p><p>“NOOOOO, my love, what has he done to you?” wailed Edward, cradling Bella’s head in his hands and kissing her nostrils.</p><p>He suddenly got a good whiff of the blood he was missing out on. Mmmmm, now <em>that</em> was the good stuff. Jasper wordlessly offered him his spare napkin, which Edward gratefully accepted.</p><p>Soon, both bois were sucking on the dead girl’s blood in companionable silence.</p><p>She was a yummy snacc.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Unpopular opinion: Jasper's always been the hottest character in this series ;)</p><p>Anyways hope you enjoyed this! Whether you love it or hate it, I love feedback so don't forget to comment and kudos!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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